by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author's program note. To understand this story you must have been in love, wildly, passionately, "have to have it, have to keep it, can't live without it" love... what's more you must have loved the Wrong Person... the person everyone and his brother said was calamitous for you, hurtful, damaging, completely baffling to the world.... but completely clear to you.
Have you loved this way? With abject submission, with a focus on the beloved so intense that even you cannot explain it? Have you experienced the heights of ecstasy, wondering how you had ever lived without this person... then plumbed the depths with this same person, the person who did to you what you never imagined... and you were grateful, yes grateful, for every indignation, humiliation, sordid revelation?
If you have never had such love, then you will never understand Whitney Houston... and must never presume to judge her.
And so today, for the incidental music for this article, I have selected "I Have Nothing". Go now to any search engine and find it. Now make it a point to concentrate on the music, the lyrics, the inimitable soaring presentation that takes you into the inexplicable recesses of love in all its manifestations, to a place only known by real lovers, mindless of anything but the love that is consuming them minute by minute, hurtfully, painfully, known only to them... and joyfully.
If you have never had such love, then you will never understand Whitney Houston... and must never presume to judge her.
The girl next door, born August 9, 1963.
Whitney Houston arrived on this planet in Newark, New Jersey, the daughter of gospel singer Cissy Houston, the cousin of 1960s pop diva Dionne Warwick, the goddaughter of Aretha Franklin. She could hardly have had a better passport into the world of music. She started with the blessings of a revered sisterhood, with their belief in her and assistance... but all that would have been so much dross without The Voice, the voice that gave her the world and all its glittering prizes.
And right from the start The Voice was there, pristine, piercing, pure, thrilling, able to touch the hearts of others because it came straight from her heart. As such she had everything.... even when she sang about having nothing.
Her career was simply a matter of letting others hear The Voice, for once they had done so they instantly became adherents, supporters, believers. And so the girl with the perfect freshly scrubbed looks, the perfect name, and The Voice that was beyond perfection, started her almost effortless journey to the top of the world... for to hear her was to want her and the riches of her uplifting sound.
"Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah."
Her ascent started at age 11, as a soloist in the junior gospel choir in the New Hope Baptist Church in Newark, where she also learned how to play the piano. Her first solo performance in the church was "Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah," a song she should have kept with her and sung often in the turbulent days to come.
But Whitney's destiny was not in gospel music, though she always insisted that she had never forsworn her gospel roots; some in the black community thought otherwise and were quick to say so and condemn.
The first song she released was "Someone For Me". It foreshadowed every song that followed: it was an unchallenging combination of slow tempo, smooth sound, and vocals that didn't take her to her limits... or make any demands whatsoever on her listeners. But it did the job... it launched her; it signalled the arrival of a new talent... and it sold reasonably well. Thus she sashayed through the door to success and the attention of a world glad to hear her...
Her two next releases, her two next hits "You Give Good Love" and "Saving All My Love For You", took her -- and each of us -- higher... though we knew there was much higher to go... and so with each record, each hit we went up, up, always up; carried by The Voice which was always greater than the tunes she sang of love, longing, desire, and the promise of sublime eros and total fulfillment.
She knew what we wanted... knew what we needed... and she delivered it to us with a dance beat that took us beyond care and worry, to a divine moment with the one we cared for and in whose eyes we glimpsed forever. And so it should have gone on... until she met the quintessential bad boy, every mother's nightmare, every good girl's secret dream, the man who asked for everything, demanded everything... and with each thrilling step changed everything to the point of devastation, despair, degradation. And at last she understood what fulfillment meant... and its terrible costs.
Bobby Brown was his name.
He entered her well-managed, richly endowed, picture-postcard-perfect life in 1989 at the Soul Train Music Awards. And all the known verities died....and if you believe in fate, then you must believe that it was Nemesis who threw them together, to the detriment -- and profound fulfillment -- of both, for there must have been such fulfillment, or else the costs can never be understood.
Six years younger than Houston, he was a man of unrivalled passion, insistence, rage, violence, selfishness, cruelty...... and it was this man, with a kit full of chaos -- who changed Whitney Houston forever and took her down the dark alleys of love, for make no mistake that even with each declension this remained a love story...
And so from this moment she sang for him such songs of such fierce longing that we knew we were hearing the truths on which she now based her life:
"Don't make me close one more door I don't wanna hurt anymore Stay in my arms if you dare Don't walk away from me Or must I imagine you there I have nothing, nothing, nothing If I don't have you, you, you, you, you."
"I never knew love like I've known it with you."
And so the best years of her life were the worst years of her life. And she lived them in all their squalor, horrifying reality, disgust, addiction, abashment and confusion. Yet she stayed... Why? Because as she stated with adamance, "I can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide."
Others gave advice, an ocean of advice, to get up, get out, get ahold of yourself, girl; but they were not in love with Bobby Brown and never understood his primal magic.
And so they married... and divorced... fought in private and in public... and loved each other to the exhaustion of both, the end the disgrace of one, the death of the other.
Now her pain is over... but The Voice, her great gift from God, abides... leaving us the best of her, every soaring note a eulogy for the lady who loved not wisely, but too well.
About the Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. Services include home business training, affiliate marketing training, earn-at-home programs, traffic tools, advertising, webcasting, hosting, design, WordPress Blogs and more. Find out why Worldprofit is considered the # 1 online Home Business Training program by getting a free Associate Membership today. Republished with author's permission by Ruthsella Corasol http://WorkingAtHome101.com.
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author's program note. A funny thing happened while you were at your office bemoaning the demise of America and its Great Republic: they didn't die after all. Quite the reverse. See for yourself. Skim the business pages of your local newspaper today, and you'll see one piece of cheery economic news after another. Admittedly, some of these pieces are like the first signs of the plucky springtime crocus... you see only the very tip... but even that's a very good sign; where there's a shoot, there's a flower on the way... And that's what we're seeing now... one zestful harbinger after another.
This is a moment for the kind of jubilation that sent the God-selected Pilgrims to their knees, penitential arms upward and wide spread, head down, fervent hallelujahs on their prayerful lips.
You are still here.... older, wiser, nicked a bit, but a survivor.
You were, we all were, sore tested in recent years. So you learned to hunker down.... you mastered the art of making do with less... you kept business, hearth and home together... and, most of all, you did it with faith, fortitude, and a smile that never wavered despite great provocations.
You said you'd live to fight another day... and now you have.
This is that day!
This is the very dawn of that epochal date when unhappy past gives way to all the bounty of tomorrow... "now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer..."
And because that day has dawned, you face the promise of the future with joy in your heart and a bounce in your step. It is good to be alive!
Sales up! Confidence up!
This kind of budding jubilation is occurring now; it's happening across America as the Great Republic recalls that it is eternal... whilst the bad times that assail us are mere interruptions, no matter how bad. We all knew this, of course, but we were made distracted by the unceasing jeremiads of the nay-sayers. The pity parties they sponsored for the nation are over, de trop... and the Chicken Littles are roosting now until their next inevitable appearance. As we lock these wet hens away for the duration our motto is this,
Laissez les bon temps rouler.
And as we pined for them, scanned the horizon for them, hoped and prayed for them, never ceasing to believe in them, so shall we enjoy with adolescent zest and gratitude every such day that follows.
Our song for such high glee is none other than Fleetwood Mac's 1977 release... a defiant anthem, not merely a tune but a guillotine for the bad times, a declaration of our grit and where we are going; "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow", a tune about perseverance, a soaring statement about who we are... and why we are here today triumphant, grateful, the stronger for having surmounted every imp in Pandora's box, for this is what we live for.....success, pure, simple, thrilling, sweeter than any posy ever grown.
There's only one thing worse than losing... and that's winning.
This is also, of course, the most perilous place for you to be, for it is undoubtedly true that there is only one thing worse than the arduous vicissitudes of failure... and that is high-flying success. And so, dear friend, with the incipience and advent of the next bout of Good New Days we must well and truly take note and prepare for the best... for it can distract, deter, discombobulate, and after so much patience and endurance that would never do.
Success does not dribble, it surges... and this is the problem.
There is nothing like turbulent times, the times that test our resolve, to draw us together, one for all, all for one. It is one of our most admirable human characteristics, that we work together, to stand or fall together. Talk to any British person of World War II vintage and they will, without an instant's delay, tell you about, and proudly too, what life was like during the great Blitz of London... and words pour out -- of unity, community, togetherness, of teamwork and selflessness. They treasure such moments, as you should, for they show us what we are capable of when the going gets rough, demanding, anxious and daunting.
But when the bad times lift and morph from present unease and concern to mere history, no more alarming, this is when the Bitch-Goddess Success delights in turning the tables upon our grand expectations. For the unity, coherence, and grit of bad days begins to give way to chaos, confusion, and selfishness, and so you must be careful, thoughtful, prepared to skillfully negotiate the hot potato of success. Here are some recommendations for doing so:
1) Your success did not come about just by you alone. Many people helped you. Now is the time to recognize their contribution and to thank them. You got through the bad times, ready to tend and fructify the good times relying on many others; now is the time to show your decency and integrity by saying so and showing your gratitude in ways meaningful to those who eased your way.
2) Launch a debt reduction project. After your daring, electrifying escape from the bad times, the natural inclination will be to let 'er rip, plunking down coin of the realm to acquire long- deferred luxuries. In a word, DON'T.
The first thing to do is take a long, cool, dispassionate look at your financial position with particular reference to the debt you are carrying. While the tendency once the yoke is off is to spend, spend, spend your reality must be focused on aggressive debt reduction, not more debt "justified" by the newly minted good times.
3) Review your life and circumstances. What of your infrastructure needs to be reviewed, restored, replaced to ensure that your personal and business environments are safe, secure, in tiptop shape? Remember, those roofing repairs you put off until "better times"'? They should now at the top of your list. This is what is important... not to binge or make up for lost time.
4) Use cheap money. As I write, the cost of borrowing money is just about 3 percent. By historical standards this is dirt cheap. Take advantage of this situation; it is mutable, short- lived and tailor-made for the upwardly mobile. Use such money to dramatically improve your asset position, for as every Yuppie knows, he who has the most toys, wins; with this caveat: the toys you acquire must have the likelihood of increasing your wealth, not siphoning much needed capital to sustain your too expensive, too indulgent personal foibles.
5) Buy equities. For the last several years, Wall Street and all the other great exchanges of the world have been on sale, offering often mind boggling price discounts. This sale is now in the early stages of winding up. Wait no longer to benefit. If you buy quality at discount prices, you quite simply cannot lose, for all that the markets are very various, as always.
6) Start a meaningful investment program at once. Each person, all families need a challenging investment program. Why? Because you're growing older and will not relish being old without the comfort and security of revenue from your investments. Of course you should have started earlier; of course you shouldn't have liquidated such investments during the Great Recession. But all that is water under the bridge. Make it a point to start investing now; investing at least 10% of your gross salary. Tomorrow will come; only by such means will it be the tomorrow you desire and have always dreamed of.
"Don't stop thinking about tomorrow."
Now it's time for my final piece of advice for today: dance! You've been a wall flower at the ball long enough. Now it's time to dust off your iconic moves and dazzle. To begin, go to any search engine and capture the Fleetwood Mac song. Then move that body and sing along to a recipe for success that never fails:
"Don't stop thinking about tomorrow Don't stop, it'll soon be here It'll be better than before Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone."
Amen.
About the Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. Services include home business training, affiliate marketing training, earn-at-home programs, traffic tools, advertising, webcasting, hosting, design, WordPress Blogs and more. Find out why Worldprofit is considered the # 1 online Home Business Training program by getting a free Associate Membership today. Republished with author's permission by Ruthsella Corasol http://WorkingAtHome101.com.
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author's program note. Men, it's time for your annual Valentine's Day update and reminder. For, as you will recall, Valentine's Day (along with her dog Pookie's birthday) is the most important event of her year. If you get it right (or as right as any man can get this minefield) you're in like Flynn for another year; your right to nookie safe and secure for another 365 glorious days.
But...
if you muff this, like you did last year and the year before that, you are in for another prolonged rough patch... and you know very well how rough that will be. To avoid this fate worse than death, extreme measures are required, and these extreme measures must be taken NOW! Men, have I got your full attention? Your Love Doctor is here for you... and OMG, you know you need it.
The Facts.
As we have discussed in prior years (and many of you have attended this critical training year after year, with, sad to say, spotty results) Valentine's Day is a world-wide conspiracy. It first began as the brainchild of a highly paid consultant who was charged with the task of selling a particularly noxious chocolate with a vile, disgusting taste... That didn't bother the consultant at all; it was the kind of challenge he lived for.
Even the fact that the chocolatier couldn't pay him even a token amount up front didn't bother our fearless consultant one iota. He still inked a contract that said he'd receive 25% of the gross on all new business stimulated by his best ideas. In other words, he would (in the best macho consultant tradition) forgo certain (albeit lower) payment in return for a whopping share of the gross... and so long as he could move the obnoxious chocolate that everybody loathed.... he'd be a big winner.
Frankly, the folks at the chocolate company (who pretty much loathed their product, too, and banned it from the company candy machine) thought they'd made the perfect deal. After all, they got the consultant to work for them for free... and gave away revenues that didn't exist, would probably never exist. But before claiming a huge write-off and throwing the offending chocs in the garbage, they needed -- so their accountant said -- to gve it the Good Ol' College Try.
His name was Valentine...
Now our audacious consultant sat down to business, and because he was a very clever fellow, the ideas flowed fast and furious. Thus after just a few days, the consultant was ready to see the CEO and present the all-important concept. As it turned out not only was this meeting important for the chocolate company; it was a crucial turning point in the relations of all men with their women... it thereby launched a movement creating millions of jobs and huge corporate profits worldwide.
The consultant's name was Valentinos Kariotes... known as Val... and he is the man who set the high standards for Valentine's Day...
Yes, it is because of this single man and his insight that the conjugal rights and ecstasies of millions of hapless guys are put at risk every single friggin' year, to be reaffirmed by shelling out for chocolate, making ever richer the corporate smarty pants who dreamed up this baby.
Down to business.
Val, a straight talking, no nonsense, "let's stick to business" kind of guy got right to the point. To sell the chocs everyone acknowledged as disgusting, they'd have to have a bigger idea, something huge, clever, larger than life.... here Val paused.... because he knew that his next words would not only sell chocolates nobody could abide, but get men by the millions to line up in front of the company's packed stores to plunk down big bucks for a product they despised.
Before stating what would become his abiding claim to fame, Val paused, looked around the room, the better to get their attention and keep the memory of this supreme moment forever green in his mind. Then he said
"To sell chocolates you must get women to tell men that the purchase of these chocolates and the size of the box will be construed by every gal on earth as an indication of how ardently they are desired, loved, and wanted. In short, the target for their advertising campaign would not be the men who would actually buy the chocolates... but the women who would 'motivate' them to do so, in EVERY way at their command. Yes, in EVERY way."
Val then unveiled his first ad, a classic soon destined for the Advertising Hall of Fame. It went like this:
"The size of the box", it read, "indicates how much he loves you."
The image showed two boxes of chocolate. The five-pound box had a big black X through it. The 20-pound box was circled in a bright, bright red heart with exclamation point.
Just awesome!
Val's incredible idea at last gave women what they have always wanted, for thousands of years: a way to know, to measure, even weigh just how much their menfolk REALLY love them; the proof to be as easy to acquire as the simple purchase of chocolates.
"Brilliant" was the least of it.
In the lives of each of us, there come but a handful of moments of transcendence, moments of destiny, moments you are surpassingly glad to be alive. Our man Val knew such a moment this day... and as the astonished executives surged around him with their most ardent congratulations, they knew it, too. And immediately increased the box size and weight of their obnoxious product... for they knew at once that Val, their boy, was a genius. And so unanimously voted to create a day named for him -- St. Valentine's Day -- a day worth billions to love capitalists worldwide. It was the least they could do
And so Val got filthy rich.
Every time a woman got a two-pound box of chocs from her beloved, she knew that the donor was dead meat, a cheap, two-timin' low-life... who had then to go out and at once to get the 20 pound box... thereby passing the loved test... and making Val richer and richer still. Eureka!
Of course, other companies watched this phenomenon, this cornucopia of riches with the closest conceivable attention; Val ensured they did, for in due course, he made sweet deals with florists, pastry companies, every diamond purveyor in the land... always with the same awesome results.
Which is why you'll live today like a cat on a hot tin roof, spending good money you don't have to appease the little woman who controls your life. Be sure, too, to sing "My Funny Valentine" the right way, the feminist way, with the words about you, not her, for women have always hated this tune and its cock-eyed sentiment.
Thus, "my looks are laughable, unphotographable...." because that's what she wants you to say, just after she's looked at the size of the box.
(You'll find the inimitable "My Funny Valentine", released 1940, in any search engine; music by Richard Rodgers, lyrics by Lorenz Hart. I prefer the original version -- and the original words -- by Frank Sinatra.)
About the Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. Services include home business training, affiliate marketing training, earn-at-home programs, traffic tools, advertising, webcasting, hosting, design, WordPress Blogs and more. Find out why Worldprofit is considered the # 1 online Home Business Training program by getting a free Associate Membership today Republished with author's permission by Ruthsella Corasol http://WorkingAtHome101.com.
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author's program note. In 1894 Captain Alfred Dreyfus, artillery captain for the General Staff of France, was charged with treason and espionage... thereby inaugurating one of the most outrageous and ignoble events in the entire history of France.
It was a story of lies... but not by Dreyfus.
It was the story of evidence made up... evidence tampered with... evidence destroyed... but not by Dreyfus.
It was the story of grave injustice... deliberately done and with malice... but not by Dreyfus.
It was the story of a man attacked, mauled, censored, imprisoned, humiliated, villified because of his religion... but not by Dreyfus.
And above all it is the story of how one man with brilliant, slashing language changed the entire debate... securing at long last freedom, restitution and justice for Dreyfus.
This man was celebrated novelist Emile Zola who took just two words and transformed them into the most powerful weapon on earth... two words that galvanized a nation, securing the attention and support of the good people of France who, because of Zola, were outraged by the terrible and enduring blot on the honor of France... and who joined their voices to his in the service of truth.
J'accuse!
These are the words -- I accuse -- which by making the outrages clear -- began the healing process that saved France from ignominy and redeemed her. Now I intend to use the great model created by Zola and to save you from business ignominy... to redeem you... and enable you to profit online... for you have been doing everything possible to fail... and little or nothing to succeed.
To help you on your way I have selected the soaring 1937 score Max Steiner wrote for the Best Picture of the Year; "The Life of Emile Zola" starring Paul Muni. Such grand music must enable success... so go to any search engine now and play it. We are ready to begin the transforming process that starts with "I accuse..." and ends with "I salute...", wafted on our way by the grandeur of Steiner's composition.
I accuse you of not understanding what business is... of understanding that business is now and always will be about two things and two things only: the generation of prospect leads... and following up with each and every one of these leads to make offers and close business.
I accuse you of engaging in endless trivia every day, focusing on anything and everything instead of generating prospects... and calling these prospects, to work with them and begin the development of the business relationships necessary to secure success.
I accuse you of trying to run a business solely by email... trying that is to motivate people to buy without doing the most important thing to profit: picking up the phone, calling prospects, engaging prospects, building relations with prospects.
I accuse you of sloth, laziness, of sitting around and waiting for success, instead of doing what is necessary -- everything that's necessary -- to build the business you say you want... but for which there is absolutely no evidence that you have ever done on its behalf any meaningful thing at all.
I accuse you of the sin of inertia... of waiting, waiting, waiting, for, what?, a sign from Heaven, an email from God? I accuse you of not knowing what needs to be done, of not educating yourself so that you know how to do it, and not doing the least thing to secure your success.
I accuse you of spending more time gossiping on the phone with people who cannot make you richer (your best friend, your bowling buddies, the chick you met bar hopping last week) instead of using the phone to do what it does so well... connecting with the people who can buy from you, buy now, and make you money every single day.
I accuse you of trying to build your online business alone, all by yourself, when all the evidence says this is not possible, is absolutely impossible, because there is too much to do...too many things to master... and insufficient time to learn them, then do them. You need a team... and you need it at once.
I accuse you of the sin of talking about success far more than doing the necessary deeds and actions that ensure success. You have become, thereby, a specialist in the endless rhetoric and bombastic language of success, while achieving nothing. It is time, therefore, past time, to cease and censure the flatulent babble and get on with the doing.
I accuse you of not staying at your post every day until you have achieved the financial objective you have set for yourself for this day, focusing, persisting until you have achieved this goal... every penny of this goal.
I accuse you of coddling yourself, of a too prompt tendency to forgive your inadequacies, overlook the negatives, whitewash your poor performances, rationalize your failings, pooh pooh each and every peccadillo, extol too greatly minor triumphs instead of pushing on to make the insignificant significant.
The words used by Zola to end his famous declamation to French president Felix Faure, January 13, 1898:
"I have but one passion: to enlighten those who have been kept in the dark, in the name of humanity which has suffered too much and is entitled to happiness. My fiery protest is simply the cry of my very soul."
I couldn't say it better myself, so won't try. Zola's letter changed the world... my hope is that this changes yours.
** We invite you to post your comments to this article below.
About the Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. Services include home business training, affiliate marketing training, earn-at-home programs, traffic tools, advertising, webcasting, hosting, design, WordPress Blogs and more. Find out why Worldprofit is considered the # 1 online Home Business Training program by getting a free Associate Membership today. Republished with author's permission by Ruthsella Corasol http://WorkingAtHome101.com.
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author's program note. In 1921, that sultry chanteuse with a silken voice seasoned with a touch of honky-tonk and life's deflating experience -- Ethel Waters (1896- 1977) -- got up before the microphone one fine day and belted into history a little ditty by Billy Higgins and W. Benton Overstreet. It was a swinging song with attitude... and, it turned out, with "legs", too; a song so potent in its magic that over 50 major recording artists couldn't wait to get their vocal chords around it.
It was "There'll be some changes made", and it included the resonating line that made us all queasy... "Nobody wants you when you're old and gray"... the line that justified an ocean or two of wild behavior, the wild oats you'd better indulge in when young and limber... before the Grim Reaper stamped your forehead with the iconic number 65 and measured you for eternity.
Go now to any search engine, review your recorded choices; then "choose your poison" as Grandpa Walt used to say... but, whoever you select, take time to pay homage to Miss Waters, for she was a game old bird and after all was the first to urge us to approach olde age with dignity, composed, resigned, withered hands folded gently in your lap, glass for your false teeth at the ready -- not!
Oh, no, Miss Waters celebrated not just the "you" you were... but the "you" you could be with a few deft changes, tweaks and tucks... all necessary so that your "golden" years are even less demure (by a long shot) than your early days; that you don't just read your Browning -- "the best is yet to be" -- but live him, with plenitude and a "hey, look me over" edge, your original and unique cocktail of defiance, insight, and allure.
Step-dad Jack and the chocolate box.
He was shrunken, smaller than he had been in life... in form that is, never in spirit. And he asked me --before "forever" took him -- for chocolates. He craved them. I didn't have to think twice about what to do. I was on the phone at once and ordered him an exuberant chocolate feast of Godiva's best, the kind of assortment that a boy bent on the delights of love gives to the girl he wants to wash his shirts and cheat on for life. Yes, it was that big. And when I called to make sure he had the package... I was informed this man I hardly knew... had the box open, a few already nibbled, sampled, so he could make the best selection. And he was smiling...
But that's only a part of this tale...
The instant she heard ol' Jack talking to me, my mother, that force of nature and approved behavior, grabbed the phone and Let Me Have It. Jack was ill, she said; Jack was dying, she said; Jack could die at any moment, she said, and face his Maker, as quick as you could say "Jack Robinson." What did I mean by giving him, and on his death bed, too, the rich seduction that was chocolate, a food that could not be found amidst his recommended dietary choices, unappetizing all. Why, didn't I know that could kill him....? Moreover, there was no mention in Emily Post sanctioning death-bed chocolates... and thus they could not be approved, unfitting objects as they were for such an event and its high mysteries and profound enigmas.
"But POM (Poor Old Mother)", I said. His cancer is terminal, he could indeed die at any moment; every doctor said so, and at such a time if there's a dance in the old galoot yet he ought to dance it... he ought to have what he wanted, the savor of life, not another moment of the semblance of life, measured out by tea spoons of this medicine, tablets of that. In short he wanted, with an insistence that comes when time is almost gone, one of life's pleasures, not another indication and token of life's finality.
... Jack died just hours later...
... POM became the Ice Queen to me for too long...
But I was the gainer here... for Jack had reaffirmed a profound truth we cannot hear and contemplate often enough... that life is for the living, that life must be lived, exulted, extolled, celebrated and savored... and that at the end, if you want chocolates, the very best chocolates (or their equivalent) no one -- not even the well-meaning wife and scold -- should be allowed even a moment of jeremiad, pontification, finger-pointing and condescension... "Proper behavior" be damned....
Easy to say, difficult to do.
Now, one can damn, and so easily, too, the bug-a-boo of "proper behavior", but the truth of the matter, an independent course is difficult to pull off. Witness my darlin' mama's frosty reaction on the matter of chocolates an instant prior to demise. We geriatric life-savors need to face up to the shibboleths and prejudices of our rigid adversaries... and become as shrewd as we are aged.
Thus, start from the proposition that for the bulk of the world... but never for ones as wicked cool and winsome as we are, Age 65 is regarded as the gate through which one passes, inexorably, inevitably, slowly on account of rheumatism, arthritis and assembled other maladies attendant upon bigger and bigger birthdays; the gate through which we enter aging... through which we depart dead... truly an inviting scenario... if you're into the macabre pictures of Hieronymus Bosch (1450-1516) and other mediaeval horrors. . But Hieronymus and his scarry ilk have never been my cup of tea, perhaps because of their unremitting focus on the darker side of life, its miseries, regrets, loneliness and angst about the eternity into which each of us must enter, like it or not. I am a creature of life and light... and aim to live my credo to the very last moment... for all that I may be able to do nothing more at that unique moment of finality than nibble a chocolate. Even that is enough to reaffirm my adamant belief in life, not life's restrictions.
Yet these restrictions are everywhere, built into the very heart of our youth-centered culture. Folks over 65 are lesser beings, unable to do this, incapable of doing that; past it in ways as diverse as eating corn on the cob or satisfying even the least demanding of lovers. Even more than a baby (which after all does not know better) we are held thrall to the do-nots, the should-nots, the could-nots, instead of enjoying the thrills and growth of the why-nots.
But we are not, we crew of 65 plus, babies to be protected and instructed. We are people who have lived life -- and often riotously too -- with gusto and a zest that only begins when you realize that the life force within you is not unlimited or inexhaustible. It is its very limitation that makes it precious... and which drives us to use it... all of it ... never letting a drop of it... any of it... drip away unused and unregarded.
We know the pleasures of life... and intend to explore each and every one of them until the engine that drives our magnificent being can do absolutely nothing more.
That's why I tell you this: Miss Waters sings her song not for you and me who seize and savor life. For we do not need to make changes...
Rather, these changes must be made by the folks -- "age-ists" every one of them -- who want us to stop living before our time, pushing us out of life, anxious to get what we have had. These folks are in the business of denial, living to block us, restrict us and chide us for ideas, thoughts and actions they deem unsuitable to our age and station... They are the ones who would remove us from life, not help us engage it.
It is for these folks and their disapproval and disdain that Miss Waters sings her song, for they cannot be reminded often and enough...
"You're here today and then tomorrow you're gone" ...
Thus I shall live my life while there is a crumb yet to enjoy. And if that bothers you or anyone, get over it... and make the changes which must be made today... for you have far greater need for them than I do...
Envoy
Dr. Lant turns 65 February 16, 2012.
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About the Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. Services include home business training, affiliate marketing training, earn-at-home programs, traffic tools, advertising, webcasting, hosting, design, WordPress Blogs and more. Find out why Worldprofit is considered the # 1 online Home Business Training program by getting a free Associate Membership today. Republished with author's permission by Ruthsella Corasol http://WorkingAtHome101.com.
